Amazon: Funniest Product Reviews On The Internet

For many people, Amazon reviews are the first place to follow after describing an item to learn more about a product. What does “critical mass” say about the TV, mixer, dress, or book I was seeing? Sometimes the reviews are too broad and accurate – and too critical. But in some cases it makes us laugh. We have identified six such cases.

The Six Funniest Product Reviews on Amazon

From rubber bears to UFO detectors and even radioactive uranium: not only do these customer reviews show that you can really buy anything from an online mail-order company, they even brought tears of laughter to our eyes at times.

king penguin

Customers are not always satisfied with the product. In this case, the owner is very pleased with his penguin mask, which he uses for educational measures – which is definitely worth discussing.

“I wear this mask to sing to my children lullabies. They are terrified of the mask. Whenever they protest bedtime or want lots of candy, I put on the mask and soon they know who the King Penguin is.”

Unreliable UFO Warning Device

Some people have a great fear of being kidnapped and scrutinized by aliens. For those folks there is – of course – the right product: the Unidentified Flying Object Detector. Unfortunately, the device doesn’t seem to do quite its job as this person complains.

“Well, I bought this stupid thing and I’m driving with a sense of safety and peace when suddenly my engine stops and my Ford starts moving toward Saturn and then the stupid detector goes off. Then it hits me: electronics malfunctions when there’s a UFO nearby! Plus, I don’t need To a device to tell me I’m about to be broadcast again!

It’s like buying stupid weather stones – if the stone is missing, the tornado is already there!

At least, the rock is environmentally friendly, unlike the batteries this thing uses.”

Candy bears from hell

The next product is a box of sugar free teddy bears. We refrain from creating a link for the specific occasion (which is not currently available anyway), because the sweetener that replaces sugar is not gratefully received by all stomachs.

“Man…words can’t express what happened to me after eating this candy. The gum bear ‘cleansed.’ If you are someone who can tolerate a sugar substitute, enjoy it. If you are like the dozens of people who have tried my order, run!

First of all, I’ll give it a 5 for the taste. Very well. Soft, unflavored fruit flavors like a variety of sugar… I was a happy wagon.

But soon after I ate about 20 of these, all hell broke loose. I’ve had a gastro-intestinal experience like I couldn’t have imagined. Cramps, sweats and bloating are beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from bad oysters before, and it was more like a walk in the garden than what was going on inside of me.

Then came the bloating. Oh my God, the sounds, like trumpets calling out demons to go back to hell… The stench of vomit was like a thousand rotting corpses. I could not stand in one room for fear of suffocation due to the bad smell.

but wait; There is more. I felt like what came out of me was like someone had tried to run Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my misrata was screaming. It felt like my starfish was a gushing mau emitting a torrent of toxic waste. 100% liquid. flammable liquid. napalm. It was a little funny (for a nanosecond) because it was far from anything I could have imagined.

It went on for hours.

Things came out of me that I ate at my 2005 wedding.

I had five pounds of these innocent, tasty-looking bears, so I told a friend what happened to me because I thought it must be some kind of allergy I had to the sugar substitute, and despite my warnings and live-action prescriptions, I decided to take the risk and take it off my hands.

stupid woman. She called me while she was sitting on the toilet (after all, one lives in the bathroom for a while) and told me she really wished she’d listened to me. I think she cried.”

uranium for home use

You can really buy anything on Amazon – at least the fact that you can buy radioactive uranium from a shopping mall should clear all doubts (at least in the US). But it doesn’t take long to open the package, this guy found.

“I bought this product 4.47 billion years ago and when I opened it today it was half empty.”

Where is the user guide?

Some products seem to really need instructions – otherwise they may end up being used for things they weren’t really intended for. As in this case.

“It causes a lot of pain and agony. I don’t know why it’s so popular these days, I’ll just use toilet paper.”

Grandma on the sofa

We didn’t even know about some products that we absolutely need in our lives. This apparently happened to the person who decided to put a picture of an old lady with asthma spray on the wall.

“I never knew I wanted something like this, but now with Nana snooping on the sofa in the living room, I can’t imagine my life in front of her.”

Source used: amazon.com

CS
Barbara